Babel – Stairway to Heaven

The Tower of Babel

Tower of Babel, The Stairway to Heaven The ancient Emperor Nebuchadrezzar talks to Barbara Walters about his amazing Hanging Gardens, his vast new empire, and his plans to rebuild the tower of Babel so that he can reach the Babylonian gods.

It’s a look at the civilization of the Babylon and the importance of getting construction workers, contractors, architects, and building inspectors to all speak the same language.

Transcript By YouTube

Welcome to History Bites I’m Rick Green.  When I think of the beginnings of space exploration images of Apollo missions or Sputnik come to mind, but the first attempts to reach the heavens actually predate that by about 2,500 years.

Around 580 BC the king of Babylon sent his best people to work on a new technology, a technology that would allow him to put a man on the moon… if the moon had been about 300 feet away.

You see his space program was the Tower of Babel which he hoped would allow him to reach the heavens and more specifically the gods and if the Babylonians didn’t make it well hey a big tower is always good for tourism.

So let’s tune in to the year 587 BC where King Nebuchadnezzar is trying to erect the biggest and the best to impress the world and if you want to impress people you got to do it on television.

Tonight with his resounding

victories of a nation such as Phoenicia
Palestine and Judah Babylonian king
Nebuchadnezzar has built up an
impressive empire and now with that
Empire secured the charismatic King is
building up again and I do mean up King
Nebuchadnezzar your monuments to the
gods are most impressive you must be
very proud oh yes I finally completed
erecting the temple to my god Marduk
that’s right well the idols you’ve built
in the form of murdock many of which
seem to look an awful lot like you know
I know obviously Marduk so handsome
devil God God handsome God these idols
I’m not your greatest monuments to
Marduk no he’s a temple let’s talk for a
moment about your enormous cigarette oh
come on now Barbara you’re you’re
embarrassing if you must be very proud
it’s huge
everyone in Babylon is babbling on and
on about it yes you know I often feel
like having a cigarette after a big
nebbish in what scientific discipline
does babylon lead the world astrology
correct holder who is the god of love
Elvis Teresa from what material we’re a
Syrian boats most commonly constructed
in inflated animals cats correct nebbish
how do you cure a horse with a swollen
head I stopped telling him how great he
is all the time pouring a Sabbath six
raisins add oatmeal into his nostrils
Beldar what runs along either side of
euphrates river bank correct Teresa what
procedure did the Canaanite God L
perform on both his father and himself a
hair transplant registration so this
rectangular stepped tower your cigarette
was built to honor your God
Murdock no not just to honor and Barbara
– to meet him I know I’ll be headed to
the heavens in my afterlife but I’m a
very impatient person I I hate waiting
plus when I meet mark I want to shake
his hand and I think it’ll be easier to
do that if if I still have a body do you
really believe this is possible to reach
the gods by buying a stairway to heaven
Barbara we know so much more now about
magic in the afterlife it’s it’s only a
matter of time at least that’s what my
architects tell me I spoke with a man
behind the incredible new ziggurat the
Tower of Babel chief terror a nautical
engineer chalupa there’s the ziggurat
actually touch the sky does seem to
disappear into the atmosphere yes yes
yeah it does seem to but not not really
no no now we just used blue enamel
bricks up there it’s a nice touch but
despite its height the god Marduk will
have to meet us halfway which is why
we’ve installed a dwelling place on top
forum dwelling place yeah that’s what
time we call it yeah kind of our home
away from heaven his little cottage by
the Euphrates ah fascinating what’s the
go here Wow
Barbara first contact come on to meet
one of the gods so you imagine what he
could teach us that the spin-offs could
benefit all Babylonians perhaps
way to end all wars eliminate famine and
disease martica teach me how to win all
wars and to bring extra famine to
disease upon my enemies and and and
locusts who swarms of locusts if you
could just do that choke our enemies
locusts up their nostrils biological
warfare so much for a coffee week
you know white Colossus this pyramid
we’re building is gonna reach right to
heaven kid it’s just a tower it’s the
tallest thing in Mesopotamia this cigrip
will be here forever long after I’m gone
it was right
oh I will be here long after he’s gone
on top of the cigarette that our good
king I better get this right a
Nebuchadnezzar is building there’s a
little bonus get those folks a girl but
anyway apparently the gods need help
scoring with the chicks
forget the animal sacrifice it’s not a
chunk of dead donkey ah it’s a piece of
live ass
oh yeah I’m the chosen one all right how
did the priests come to choose you the
priest said they like to lie with the
same kind of girls Marduk likes to lie
with so if they like lying with me they
just knew Marduk would too so it was a
lucky coincidence really
so yeah totally those guys took the
selection thing like very seriously they
did an exhaustive search and they were
pooped after they reached their you know
decision so for me to have beaten out so
many other girls to achieve the position
it’s a real honor and the things that
gods like Marv Duke and Ishtar and shame
ash or Nabu or the other guy ad dad is
that they appreciate our worshiping and
and our praying
and lots and lots of animal entrails no
guts no glory as we used to say back
home you gotta pray and you got a slave
start coming to rehearsal
all right that’s right these guys may be
the most powerful beings in the universe
because they make us fall in love that
right yeah they make the Sun Rise they
they give us rain but at the end of the
day they still need their bowl of
beastie bitches you know I don’t know
anyone who hasn’t recognized themselves
while alerting a heavy-handed moral
presented by the personification of
animals the inner audience tonight the
author of this new craze where are you
there you are hey sup stand up take it
back through Lee top ten rejected titles
for the girl on the cigarette here we go
at number ten God bait nine tower tail
break the cherry on top
number seven she who sits on shaft
number 6 mar
number four a cigarette button number
three cloud 69
here we go the number one rejected dial
for the girl in the cigarette you knew
this your first night on the job a
little you know okay I lied with guys
who thought they were gods but never the
real thing what’s it like up there when
the cigarette oh it’s very nice you know
lots of jewels golden tables free
pay-per-view of the hanging garden and
there’s this huge couch in the middle of
room because Nordic is supposed to be
pretty big you’ve never seen him no not
really I go to sleep pretty early I
guess he’s just really quiet does his
thing and then leaves not the first guy
I’ve known like that
coming up the power behind the tower
the political situation in the Middle
East in ancient times was basically
battling empires the Assyrians
Babylonians Judeans Chaldeans Egyptians
and so on all took turns conquering each
other by five ad BC the Empire of
Babylon was on top Nebuchadnezzar had
established himself as a supreme ruler
and CEO of the resurgent city of course
the trouble with being a CEO is you
never know when someone’s planning a
hostile takeover tell me a little bit
about your marriage
oh that’s been great marrying a girl
from Medea there was a great alliance
you know I’ve had an opportunity to see
the MIDI ins in action they’ve got a
great army they’re the perfect Ally for
us against the Assyrians and our
soldiers they just really learned a lot
but you know I thought they were even
better architects I mean nobody builds a
siege tower like the MIDI ins I meant
your wife
amethyst whose father you made the
alliance with know her yeah yeah she’s
all right I guess
now a few minutes with anta car Runa
cherub I wouldn’t say I’m deeply
religious but I do like to worship nur
gal I know this god of war and
pestilence isn’t as popular as Marduk or
but the way I see it that just means he
is more time to listen to my prayers
every month or so I give their gala
sacrifice a goat usually I watch the
priests lit its throat while I make a
few personal requests
then I go home and wait for the results
I’ve always figured that was the end of
the deal but recently I found it’s not
at least not for the goat apparently
once the priests have sacrificed to go
to the deity of your choice
they sell a carcass to the butcher of
their choice that doesn’t seem right to
me if I give my go to Nergal shouldn’t
their gal decide what to do with it it
doesn’t matter that the goat doesn’t
disappear in the spot maybe Nergal isn’t
hungry right now
maybe he’s saving it for later what’s
the point of being a god if you can’t
snack and if nerville doesn’t get to
keep my goat does he really owe me
no wonder my prayers haven’t been
answered no wonder my crops are poor and
my 17 year old daughter is still living
at home I filled the plane with the
corpses of their warriors like Harridge
yeah Yetta Yetta Yetta to get to the get
to the poopoo stuff as the sheiks of the
chaldeans panic overwhelmed them like a
demon in their terror they passed
scalding Yemen and avoided the
excrements into their chariots
oh nice I’m it’s scalding urine I’d like
to see that huh
so when dad and I creamed them at
Nineveh serve the Assyrians right you
start making comments but your enemies
excrement they’ll just throw it right
back in your face the only ones who
benefit from my sacrifice are the
priests who were pocketing the money
from selling it and the guy who winds up
with my goat on his dinner table he
really gets my goat in fact it seems to
me the guy who was eating
goat ought to answer my prayers so if
you’re out there reading a pretty skinny
goat about yay high
who wants answer to the name Shecky can
you please find a guy for my daughter
she’s not bad-looking and we could
really use the dowry
but how did king nebuchadnezzar gain the
men his skills and the money to engineer
all his architectural projects I
received some inside perspective from
his top generals Nevers ever damn well I
never get Nezzer is no dummy he learned
a lot from them a day in army and in
fact he makes a point of learning a lot
from everyone even his enemies
especially his enemies they don’t want
to share their wisdom and secrets with
him he has a wisdom relocation program
first he moves them to Babylon then he
gives them perks like new walks bigger
Hut permission to continue being alive
sure when the Assyrians defeated Babylon
back in 691 BC they burned the place to
the ground and and then diverted the
afraid Eve River over it sure it put out
the fire but what a mess
so to rebuild Babylon debbie’s using
Syrians medallions Egyptian Jew Dayan’s
Nebuchadnezzar brought in Judeans tons
of them how did you help out the Judeans
well I conquered them and forced them to
pay tribute to Babylon instead of Egypt
they just changed the name at the atop
the checks but it didn’t work out no
yeah I did for about three years and
then out of the blue their King Joey act
him says I don’t think I feel like
paying tribute anymore and you know what
am I supposed to do I’ve monuments to
finance no tribute no towers so in a way
you had to cede Jerusalem yeah yeah yeah
I don’t know why Joey yakin went and did
a crazy thing like that I mean he he had
to know what’s gonna happen if you stop
payment on my tribute it you know what
even his own prophet warned him I gave
him a scroll of the whole thing from God
via me what did the screws say that the
Judeans have been sinning and they’ve
been going on for far too long and that
the big guy was gonna send down a curse
of destruction all of Judeans
we’re gonna be enslaved by the king of
Babylon for 70 years whether we like it
or not so why fight it baby King
Jehoiakim didn’t heed the word no total
unheeding the guy didn’t even tear his
clothes instead you know what he did he
tried to have me arrested and then he
throws the scroll into the fire come on
you really think you can destroy the
Word of God by throwing it into the fire
no well you can’t because I made a copy
was my idea not God for over 11
centuries it has been the basis of our
laws I cross the Empire it’s simple rule
say an eye for an eye a tooth for a
tooth but many are calling for a reform
maybe only a tooth for an eye and a
fingernail for a tooth are these laws
set in stone yes they are turn me down
tomorrow what are we looking at the
different languages so you exile all
those two teens after they stop paying
tribute the first time and then they go
and do it again why are the people of
Judah so foolish oh no no no it’s not
that you dance I like the Jew dance many
of my best friends are Judean I mean
what Daniel my dream interpreter for
example but Jordanians are fine it’s sir
Kings as a rule these these guys have
been they’ve been dumber than flat bread
especially that last one Zedekiah boy he
was one read short of a basket but
didn’t you personally hand pick that a
kind to be the next king of Judah after
the feast exile so sue me we return to
the Babylonian premiere of
papyrus fiction the sundial I got here
was first purchased by your
great-grandfather during the war against
saga in a second
was bought a little marketplace in
Assyria hand-carved by the first company
to ever make sometimes up till then
people just guess what time of day
you’re on God talk how are you I’m good
you have a question about the gods of
the Fertile triangle okay I got five
questions I heard the king who gave his
army paralyzing venom and fire quenching
breasts final quenching breath not
breasts breath ah oh okay that answers
for of my questions my last question is
there any way we could get a hold some
of that stuff because I think paralyzing
venom could really come in handy the
next time you go up against the
Egyptians like we could we could like
paralyze him that’s a great point in
obsession fortunately King Ghul was
killed by Manik and he’s among the dead
gods now his blood was mixed with clay
to create a race of servants to serve
the gods yeah okay yeah it was in all
the creation poem so I don’t think we’ll
ever get any of that venom unless you
got a direct pipeline to Kannagi yeah
yeah I wish yeah
alright settle for fire quenching bris I
hear ya when we come back
Nebuchadnezzar shows off his brown clay
and his green thumb
the Tower of Babel may have been the
most famous architectural achievement of
King Nebuchadnezzar but during his reign
as leader of Babylon he built a lot of
big things starting with rebuilding the
city of Babel which had been reduced to
a ruin by various Wars considering the
location of Babylon surrounded by desert
perhaps his most astonishing creation
was a spectacular hanging garden it
wasn’t so much that Nebuchadnezzar had
an affinity for horticulture he just
wanted to get his wife off his back the
hanging garden is breathtaking the
vaulted terraces one above the other how
would our pillars in which he planted
the trees has to be one of the top 10
wonders of the world
no no I’d say top seven even so
Nebuchadnezzar wax gardening no now his
wife was homesick for Medea so he asked
her how can I make this place a little
more like home for you and she said well
uh how about a Hanging Gardens
well she wants a hanging garden and I
thought yeah win-win she gets a garden I
get a place to execute people and then
she says she meant overhanging most it
still it’s nice it’s nice Babylonians
are gathering for the traditional New
Year’s Eve celebration inviting the gods
of the surrounding region to come in
statues are made of the dodds and then
the statues are dress
and clothing that’s what will the good
guns be sporting this year Luton the way
a daddy looked at it this sundial was
your birthright he’d be damned if any
Citians gonna put that greasy Hatton’s
on his boys birthright so he hid it in
one place he knew he could hide
something his ass five long years that
donkey carried this sundial the name of
the god of the craftsman is Mamu
and I bet him that the craftsman God is
black indica and we have a goat riding
on this
well okay out a goat with loam oh really
what do you think moo moo is like kind
of a dumb name low levels of all oh
really okay what about the God who is
the Vizier to ensure and I knew you know
the problem of whoa whoa whoa yeah I
think Kaka’s God name is crappy why
doesn’t even normal sounding God name
you know like to matter in her swagger
mama into was a ball man Jabbar exactly
ninja bar
it’s been recorded that because of an
inability to communicate with each other
his tower was a complete failure you see
that’s what happens when you hire too
many immigrants so when they got started
building I went up there and I said hey
shut up stop yakking and lay that damn
bricks that seemed to get everybody on
the same page where do you go from here
this tower may be the first of many
today we hope to reach marduk I mean
tomorrow who knows oh another god Ishtar
or Nergal twenty years from now we may
be building towers to gods we’ve never
even heard of today yeah wing-wang or
whoo-ha rifle or CN C with towers skies
are the limit the first mention of the
building of the Tower of Babel in
Genesis dates it somewhere around the
19th century BC about 1300 years before
Nebuchadnezzar so are the facts all
wrong maybe not the remnants of
Nebuchadnezzar’s tower matched perfectly
to the biblical description the Tower of
Babel was first built in Abraham’s day
but was torn down and rebuilt many times
Nebuchadnezzar’s tower was just the
latest and the last we don’t know
exactly how long it stood but we do know
that German archaeologists had to clear
way over a million cubic feet of rubble
to expose what was left of this once
lofty cigarette which just goes to show
that the bigger they are the harder they
and the more history bites that’s the
Mellen concern what if he said hell and
damnation there’s some other swear words
it would be bad but I think inking is
usually pretty careful about what he
says though I’m sure most of us wish
you’d say we can more often