The Salem Witch Trials

Welcome to History Bites I’m Rick Green.  When you were a kid did you ever tell people you saw something that wasn’t really there? Like a ghost or an imaginary friend and to your disappointment no one believed you but maybe your little brother.

well back in 1692 in a suburb of the

town of Salem Massachusetts a few young

girls saw some things that the adults

didn’t see and the grown-ups said oh

really oh my god finally someone is able

to see and identify the devilish causes

of all of our worldly problems of course

for some people it wasn’t such great

news because when these teenage girls

called you a witch they weren’t dissing

you they were dooming you so let’s go

back to the Salem witch trials where the

accusations are flying faster than a

coven of witches and there’s a

mysterious all-knowing all-seeing evil

presence in the courtroom television

real sinners real Satan real puritanical

punishment junk duty the Puritan

plaintiffs and Putnam and Abigail

Williams are accusing Sara good of Salem

Village of witchcraft they say they are

bewitched bothered and bewildered and

not in a good way the defendant Sarah

Goode is denying the charges claiming

she has never practiced witchcraft or

even attended the cosmos cotillion okay

are you – girls say you were bewitched

by the defendant yes your honor

and it’s by that witch over there hold

on

what exactly did she do to you she made

a pact with the devil to torment us by

giving us fits of agony and like crazy

talk that is so not true I’ve never even

met Satan she’s even on a first-name

basis

these girls are part of a conspiracy

against Milan I have been framed by a

bunch of battling teenage girls somebody

tell you to speak no but you have a

gavel in your hand

Oh ma’am you call me your honor no your

honor I’m that’s enough when I say you

can speak you can speak then you can

present your lies until then I know

you’re finished you’re finished now as

for you girls I don’t know what you’ve

heard about in other witch trials but

you can’t just go making wild

accusations and someone you don’t like

is a witch in this courtroom we make

decisions based on a little something

called evidence wanna stab yes yes yes

your honor

yes your honor in a case involving

supernatural powers we rely on something

called spectral evidence which is

defined as evidence indicating invisible

specters have launched satanic attacks

on the victims now good wife good would

you like to present your evidence your

spectral evidence that you are not a

witch I got papers good wife good we

need hard evidence here now do you have

any spectral evidence

I’ll take that as a no okay how about

you two

yes we do your honor you went good

chance okay with white good if you’re

gonna make a mockery of this courtroom

bike by using your magic on these girls

I’m gonna end this right here

fight for the plaintiff defendant will

be hang and now a few minutes with Andy

Rudy I know everyone’s I’ll cut up in

these Salem witch trials but I can’t

quite get into it it’s not the trials by

light trials is someone’s accused of

adultery I’ll bring the needle the

thread in the red letter a no it’s not

the trial it’s the witchcraft they

always accuse people were witches of

kissing the devil’s bum and consorting

in the altogether with goat men but I

don’t know why anyone would do that

doesn’t make sense what’s the fun in

bussing Beelzebub’s but you’d want to

pucker up for the devil’s derriere what

would it benefit anyone to canoodle

methis tov Alize buns you know what

Robert I don’t get it what’s with these

chicks and Beelzebub ah well Howard the

thing is the devil seduces these women

and turns them into witches and then

these witches oh this is what they say

anyway they wander around at night with

uncontrollable urges for men women what

women are you kidding me so when I

finally get to see my favorite fantasy

it’s gonna be because of the devil yeah

the Puritans are saying it’s demonic

demonic shamanic that’s a dream come

true

come on what time do they come by you

know yeah I’m leaving my window open hey

any you witches listen out there I’m

open 24/7 possessed me baby

down boy so anyway these witches will

force themselves on men and force

themselves on men okay okay now that

doesn’t sound right I don’t believe that

since when in history as any woman ever

had to force a man okay this is demonic

the Salem witch trials weren’t so much

the product of frightened superstitious

people more like bitter self-serving

ones one of the best or worst examples

may be the Reverend Samuel Parris he was

about to be terminated as minister of

Salem Village when the girl started

crying which suddenly he saw an

opportunity to hold on to his job by

uniting the townspeople against the

common enemy Satan let me start with you

Reverend Parris you’re the local pastor

here in Salem is that correct

yes your honor and you say your slave is

a witch yes she has used witchcraft on

these two girls and Putnam and my niece

Abigail Williams hold on I do the same

two girls from the first trial yes your

honor I understand there was some

spectral evidence as well can we see it

now

oh no it’s invisible now

that certainly sounds like the real

thing and we have witnesses everyone who

was at Anne’s house saw the specters

a whole family aspect of the tectus you

want to tell me what the specter looked

like

well your honor although no one actually

could see the specter they could hear

and screaming in the middle of the night

no it’s only natural to assume that what

she was screaming at was a specter in

the shape of Tituba the slave trying to

cut her head off and later touch up it

did confess to witchcraft who confessed

to this man

yes Jana D so you actually admit your

witch well my master he beat me and told

me I was a witch so I guess he right and

you’re not denying these charges I don’t

need no more be out of which find for

the plaintiff defendant will be hanged

how are you serving the forces of evil

by planting a wet one on Lucifer’s

bottom who were your hurting other than

yourself when you pucker up for the ass

of a smo dias

[Music]

tonight angling coverage of the

witchcraft trial the century

today more revelations accusations and

sensations of extending our coverage to

discuss every moment a slight tension

about who’s owned by the parish family

has allocated to the witching crime

she’s been accused of he’s also agreed

to testify the good wife’s good and

unborn were the witches who ordered the

attempted hit in return for a testimony

shall become part of the state’s witness

relocation program and be relocated into

jail not by the tons of gun power the

turks stored in the ancient temple and

finally a correction to our story on the

special witch court is salem last night

we reported that if a woman who

confessed to witchcraft contradicted

herself she would be set free in actual

fact

FOH contradicts or corrects herself

during her confession guilt is certain

NBC apologizes for the correction no not

the correction NBC apologizes for the

mistake and offers this contradicts what

in hell would be the reason for

frenching mullux but why smack Satan’s

seat why put your cakehole near The

Devil’s why was this fine he couldn’t

even smell the hair burning here in our

audience tonight all the way from Salem

Massachusetts several members of the

witches relocation program where are you

there you are when we return Judge Judy

puts a man between a rock and a hard

place

literally

back in 1692 during the infamous witch

trials the puritanical town of Salem was

gripped by hysteria panic confusion

Reverend Parris had capitalized on the

fear and loathing as a way to keep his

job but for other people it became their

job they were called witch hunters and

nobody knew more than they did about the

complex rules for identifying witches

mostly because they made up the rules in

the first place I’ve been through these

pussies a thousand times how could

something like that happen to me I’ll

live my life honestly

I got a church every week and when

something unexplainable like that

happens

or I’m a rich now all I have to do to my

misfortune is find the Sorcerer’s

blighter come on

the first thing to look for when hunting

or wheat cheese who do you know that’s

better off than you I but doesn’t really

deserve it

he tells entire genius to figure out

they probably got the good fortune

through a deal with the table now all I

have to do is prove it all like to start

by asking the neighbors for any examples

of mischief following anger that is to

say anger following misty in any case

all I have to do is prove it and it’s a

great way to get the noose swinging case

number 666 your honor defendants are

accused of witchcraft okay let’s start

with the plaintiffs hey aren’t you the

same two chuckleheads from the first two

cases yes your honor and your that slave

woman I thought I sentence you to be

hanged

I turned calling this evidence Jana yeah

a lot of other witches in this town and

I want to help root them out very well

so you see any of those witches in this

courtroom

mrs. Kouri seems you and your husband

are accused of witchcraft and there

seems to be a lot of evidence against

you don’t be a big baby you wanna be

burned as a witch for your information

these are the colonies we don’t burn

anyone that’s just those European

barbarians here we hang them okay I’ve

heard enough from your wife okay mr.

Corey how do you plead are you refusing

to stand trial you think this is some

kind of a witch huh maybe well mr. Corey

you can choose not to stand trial if you

want but we have the right to put some

pressure on you with these bailiff take

mr. Corey outside and pile rocks on til

him until he changes his mind

coming up today on Oprah we’ll talk to

girls who claim their mothers are

witches we’ll talk about demons Satan

evil and healing okay my bailiff tells

me that mr. Cory has been crushed to

death by all those rock like I say he

always crack in the end Wow looks like

he wasn’t so innocent after all did

satan fill your ears with potatoes just

the way we’re hearing the woods behind

the witch’s house this is her chair tree

it seems quiet but I’m sensing a lot of

powerful evil so I’m going to look for

some evidence of a sorceress crap

[Music]

Oh crikey who do this this looks like

the burnt reminds of a toad who had just

eaten stolen consecrated life is it all

be the devil’s mango

if these fine prices are white stuff on

the ground or the powder distilled from

the bounds of hanged men put these

together with the blood of a newborn

infant and you’ve got yourself a riches

sob the potion the rich uses to

instantly transport herself to the

richest nocturnal gathering the Sabbat

they can also use it to jump the line at

the my curry you see in 1692 thanks to

problems back in England the town of

Salem had lost its charter no charter

meant no legal courts which meant no

trials could be held

of course these legal niceties didn’t

stop Satan and his minions witches were

multiplying like rabbits so by the time

the administrative problems had been

sorted out the court faced a huge number

of cases the whole system was backlogged

and things had to be kinda rushed fast

justice like fast living isn’t all that

good for you

oh I’m sorry girls but I’m going to need

a lot more evidence than that you can

pick the man to death okay I’m sold

hang which Mary Parker and Margaret

Scott that makes 17 and a 17 people of

fleeted innocent being sent to the

gallows where were these accused not

simply pleading guilty to their crimes

and receiving a liar sentence of not

death well that’s what I wondered but

it’s likely related to their Puritan

upbringing you see as Puritans they

believe that if they admit even falsely

to consorting with the devil they’re

gonna be spending a lot more time with

them in the afterlife

but if they maintained their innocence

and hang because of it well that’s gonna

be worth some huge martyr points with

st. Peter up at the gates of heaven

everybody here knows me to be a good

husband and a good Christian nobody has

ever seen me do anything remotely

connected to witchcraft or devil worship

why because I never have your honor

I really don’t even know what a witch

does now it is the entire record of my

life to be thrown away because of those

of the wild visions of to eleven year

old girls hey mr. Jacobs I’ve heard your

side of the story

now I believe the defendants which is

the same group of young girls has some

evidence to present let’s hear it

[Applause]

[Music]

like you’re given the evil eye on sir

mr. Jacobs that time that’s not fair

it’s a trick of the devil okay okay okay

I’m gonna Hampshire law a proper way to

settle this is with a touch test mr.

Jacobs extend your hand and we’ll see if

your witch’s venomous sucked back from

these girls into your camp

if the venom is sucked back Judy will

know mr. Jacobs is in league with Satan

[Applause]

no no no there’s no venom find for the

plaintiff and it will be nice stay tuned

for more witching and bitching when we

return

[Music]

if you were accused of witchcraft in

1692 age was no defense

there was no young offenders act for

Satanism darkus good was only four years

old when she was sentenced to prison for

practicing witchcraft

she served eight months and never fully

recovered Rebecca nurse was a saintly

seventy year old when she was accused

apparently witchcraft was a profession

you could enter whether you were old or

young even if he had no training no

wonder so many people were witches you

have some examples of this wood woman

behavior yes your honor

um first of all mrs. nur screamed a

neighbor of mine for letting his hogs

run through her flax garden and only a

few weeks later he was dead but he never

used to be just in the last like ten

years since she moved in and and that’s

not the only example of mischief

following anger at a pie baking contest

two years ago I told her her pie taste

is like rabbit dog do you know what it

tastes like that out of you you’ll get

your chance to confess in a minute you

see Your Honor she got very angry just

like that and the very next year my wig

maker who I’ve been going to for years

developed a weird rash and move to

Virginia now look at me

after questioning the neighbors of a

suspected reach we’ll start looking for

her familias these are personal demons

usually in animal form who serve the

witch are you now or have you ever been

associated with the devil and or black

magic yes you all I’m talking to you Sal

what’s the weather like these days Gina

hell ah so you want to play that whitey

yeah

sometimes these hell spawns need a

little convincing I mean I keep my

distance from this satanic swamp thing

one little flip of that blsr bobbing

tongue of these you know I could be

sucked down into the underworld like

that so feel like talking yet feisty

yeah all right how you folks are in from

Andover yep yep let’s write Your Honor

we were having a witch problem of our

own and we heard about these visionary

girls here in Salem Village and we

thought you know great we’ll borrow one

of these girls to see if she can help

root out our witches we knew we didn’t

have a lot of time with her so we

arranged for a touch test for the people

we suspected were witches so we lined

the suspected which is alongside some of

our most upstanding citizens to make the

test fair then we had an item do her

thing she took care of you oh she took

care of us all right she said that we

were the witches we were in of as decoys

this what happened hey I call them as i

SPECT release Ilana okay the new two

witches have a choice now you couldn’t

plead guilty and admit your crimes or

you complete innocent and be hanged

Oh Your Honor I don’t think I get it we

were only in the test

what’s your plea let’s go look the thing

is no listen to me

I want a plea from you guilty or hang me

what’s it gonna be Oh

guilty guilty right takes a big which to

admit you were wrong you folks have just

saved yourself a trip to the gallows

sorry mr Forbes

Wow in the end 21 people were hanged as

a result of the Salem witch trials add

to that said total Giles Corey who was

pressed to death and a lot of others

were imprisoned for years as a result of

these verdicts but what gets me is that

most of the ones who were hanged didn’t

die for worshipping Satan they died

because they were devoted Christians you

see the prosecutors told them they could

either admit to witchcraft and live or

deny the charges and be hanged

but the Puritans beliefs told them that

if they lied and said they had

worshipped Satan when they knew they

hadn’t that would be a one-way ticket to

hell

damned if you do and doomed if you don’t

it’s appalling but it’s part of history

and part of why history bites law a

little child

he’s beaten my nose and right now that

Bielsa bobbing tongue that I was talking

about earlier he’s going right up there

he probably thinks he’s getting some

lunch but I don’t want to be the one to

be free I’m feeling a little woozy as

he’s flashing that poisonous tongue

around in my blind where’s Terry when

you need

[Music]